[Ardbert takes a few minutes to reply as he tries to come to terms about Lamitt. The implications of how she saw that other scene as well.]
That was the memory you got from Renda? Heh. Guess it makes sense. She saw the Light then. We became a family that day, when she shared her burdens with us.
... what memory of Lamitt's was that? What else have you seen? I miss them, and sometimes I fear the decades I spent by myself has made my memories of them... hazier. Or changed them entirely.
Would you be willing to write down what you remember sometime? I know it's a big ask, so you don't have to do it. Or you can just write down one memory or even just some words that stuck with you. But I want some reminder of them. All I have is my armor, my axe, my crystal, and a feather of Seto's. Sometimes it feels like it isn't enough.
Aye, that part was always good. But we sometimes went through hell, and I'd rather not see that again directly. Other memories, though, I'd be happy with.
Thancred was the first Scion I met. He was stationed in Ul'dah, and aided me in a fight against an Ascian.
I continued adventuring with my Carbuncle for some time after that, eventually catching the eye of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. With little else to do, I went to their headquarters.
A woman named Minfilia was there. She told me that this gift I had was the Echo, and that it was the key to solving the Primal problem. I was implored to join their cause.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I thought it must be the path Mother wished for me to tread. So I did my best, skulking around and investigating.
My first Primal was Ifrit. An ally betrayed me and I was kidnapped to be a sacrifice to the Lord of the Inferno.
Obviously I was able to defeat him, then returned to meet Thancred. I was praised, then we went our separate ways to return to our base.
I learned many more things that day. About Primals and their nature. That those that were kidnapped alongside me had been Tempered to his will. That there was no cure for it save for death.
Titan was the second Primal I slayed. I was still so inexperienced that it took an age to defeat him.
When I returned home to the Waking Sands it was not to celebration, but to the bodies of my allies littered about the halls like broken toys. I remember so clearly how light Noraxia was in my arms. Then she died, and I had never felt anything heavier.
Had I been able to defeat Titan more quickly I could have protected them.
Some things are easier to say with your hands than your mouth. It seems that this is the case here. And it hurts.
> Era... Gods, I'm so sorry. > Do not blame yourself for the evil of others. > That was at the beginning of your journey; you would have joined them had you been there. > You know about Tadric. You know about what he did. Should I blame myself and my friends for not being able to save everyone? For not being yet strong enough to slay him quickly? > You did the best you could with the knowledge you had. That's the best everyone can give. But it's still painful and terrible in the end, and it's hard not to blame yourself. Believe me, I KNOW. Gods do I know. I've earned trophies for blaming myself in the past. > Being helpless is the worst feeling in the world... and blaming ourselves and forcing ourselves to be better is how we hide from it. > That was one thing death taught me. I couldn't grow stronger anymore. I could only watch as > Damn hit the button early > As innocent people were massacred. I know what that's like. I'm glad that you don't. Maybe that's selfish.
It almost seems like he's finished when he suddenly adds: I'm glad you weren't there. This isn't about me. I know it's selfish. But I'm glad you weren't there. Gods.
>It wasn't like Tadric >They weren't strangers, or people I only knew in passing >They were the closest thing to family I had >The Echo showed me what happened >I could have saved them >Instead they died >I barely had the chance to know them
> It was like Tadric. For Branden not for me. > You can't save everyone. You're the one who doesn't want me to blame myself for the Flood. > I lost everything in the flood. My friends, likely my family back home. My village. Most of the world. Everything but Seto. > And you don't want me to shoulder that blame. > How is it fair if you blame yourself for that?? > And I wish I could shove my foot up our Echo's arse!
>You were tricked and manipulated >I just was not strong enough >I am grateful for the Echo >I would have died a hundred hundred times over without it >It gifts me with more than visions of the past >More than language >More than protection from Tempering
> I never said I wasn't grateful. I just said I wanted to shove my foot up its bloody arse! Occasionally. > Also I know this sounds out of left field but can you... Echo your own memories?
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"But if you go and die on me, I'll pay a necromancer to raise you from the dead so I can kill you out of spite!"
I quite liked Renda-Rae.
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That was the memory you got from Renda? Heh. Guess it makes sense. She saw the Light then. We became a family that day, when she shared her burdens with us.
... what memory of Lamitt's was that? What else have you seen? I miss them, and sometimes I fear the decades I spent by myself has made my memories of them... hazier. Or changed them entirely.
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That had not been from a memory. Each crystal held the last confessions of its bearer.
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[A moment goes by, before.]
Would you be willing to write down what you remember sometime? I know it's a big ask, so you don't have to do it. Or you can just write down one memory or even just some words that stuck with you. But I want some reminder of them. All I have is my armor, my axe, my crystal, and a feather of Seto's. Sometimes it feels like it isn't enough.
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If I can learn to control the Echo perhaps I could share them with you that way.
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I am glad you had friends by your side from the beginning.
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You didn't?
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Thancred was the first Scion I met. He was stationed in Ul'dah, and aided me in a fight against an Ascian.
I continued adventuring with my Carbuncle for some time after that, eventually catching the eye of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. With little else to do, I went to their headquarters.
A woman named Minfilia was there. She told me that this gift I had was the Echo, and that it was the key to solving the Primal problem. I was implored to join their cause.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I thought it must be the path Mother wished for me to tread. So I did my best, skulking around and investigating.
My first Primal was Ifrit. An ally betrayed me and I was kidnapped to be a sacrifice to the Lord of the Inferno.
Obviously I was able to defeat him, then returned to meet Thancred. I was praised, then we went our separate ways to return to our base.
I learned many more things that day. About Primals and their nature. That those that were kidnapped alongside me had been Tempered to his will. That there was no cure for it save for death.
Titan was the second Primal I slayed. I was still so inexperienced that it took an age to defeat him.
When I returned home to the Waking Sands it was not to celebration, but to the bodies of my allies littered about the halls like broken toys. I remember so clearly how light Noraxia was in my arms. Then she died, and I had never felt anything heavier.
Had I been able to defeat Titan more quickly I could have protected them.
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> Era... Gods, I'm so sorry.
> Do not blame yourself for the evil of others.
> That was at the beginning of your journey; you would have joined them had you been there.
> You know about Tadric. You know about what he did. Should I blame myself and my friends for not being able to save everyone? For not being yet strong enough to slay him quickly?
> You did the best you could with the knowledge you had. That's the best everyone can give. But it's still painful and terrible in the end, and it's hard not to blame yourself. Believe me, I KNOW. Gods do I know. I've earned trophies for blaming myself in the past.
> Being helpless is the worst feeling in the world... and blaming ourselves and forcing ourselves to be better is how we hide from it.
> That was one thing death taught me. I couldn't grow stronger anymore. I could only watch as
> Damn hit the button early
> As innocent people were massacred. I know what that's like. I'm glad that you don't. Maybe that's selfish.
It almost seems like he's finished when he suddenly adds:
I'm glad you weren't there. This isn't about me. I know it's selfish. But I'm glad you weren't there. Gods.
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>They weren't strangers, or people I only knew in passing
>They were the closest thing to family I had
>The Echo showed me what happened
>I could have saved them
>Instead they died
>I barely had the chance to know them
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> You can't save everyone. You're the one who doesn't want me to blame myself for the Flood.
> I lost everything in the flood. My friends, likely my family back home. My village. Most of the world. Everything but Seto.
> And you don't want me to shoulder that blame.
> How is it fair if you blame yourself for that??
> And I wish I could shove my foot up our Echo's arse!
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>I just was not strong enough
>I am grateful for the Echo
>I would have died a hundred hundred times over without it
>It gifts me with more than visions of the past
>More than language
>More than protection from Tempering
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> Also I know this sounds out of left field but can you... Echo your own memories?
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>I cannot, no.
>Occasionally I have flashbacks
>They are overwhelming and unexpected
>And only occur with traumatic events
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> That explains a lot
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>It is a common affliction
>I have literature saved on my FLUID if you would like to read more
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