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PROTECT THIS HORRIBLE REVEAL WITH YOUR LIFE
SPOILERS OF SPOILERS for Shadowbringers. This was cut because the thread was going in a different direction even as I prewrote this. sob.
Ardbert combs through his mind for anything else that she might Echo that's exceptionally terrible. It's logical to tell her now. He doesn't want to, he's not ready, but the guilt would eat him alive if she was subjected to anything he could protect her from.
Then a memory becomes clear. A moment in which he was helpless to help those right in front of him. He stops hearing her words, squeezing his eyes tight. Gods.
"There's something else. I should tell you. I've had.. nightmares. It's only a matter of time until it catches you off guard."
"The second attack of Sin Eaters on Lakeland. I was there, useless." Gods, gods, he doesn't want to tell her, he doesn't want to tell anyone how it felt to be so useless. "There was a medic. His gentle voice cut through the horrors around me, and I turned towards it. A voice only a tender soul like he could have.
He was with someone gravely wounded he had laid up against a tree, telling him..." His voice cracks, wracked with pain. "... Telling him it would all be all right. The other man's head was lolling, fighting to listen to those words, trying desperately to stay awake and alive with what little strength he had left."
Ardbert wraps his arms around her tighter. "But there was a Sin Eater. He didn't hear it approaching, too focused on his friend, maybe even his partner&8212;" The word breaks in the same way as a soul shatters.
"I heard it, saw it." They both know how this story ends, but he continues. "But he couldn't hear me screaming for him to run. So I pulled out my axe, hoping, pleading, that for once, I could do something, that things were different now that someone could see me—"
The emotions in his voice flatline, the same as they did back then, everything draining out of him. "It wasn't. My axe and myself, we charged through it, unnoticed." Ardbert shakes his head slowly, then buries his face in her shoulder. "I couldn't look back."
Almost over; there's not much more left. "His voice was still so gentle as he pleaded for it to stay back. I could hear him shuffling in the grass, too scared to try to run. We both knew it was too late."
He can fell himself shaking. "The gentleness was broken by his screams of agony. For help. For help from someone, from anyone. From me—" His emotions come flooding back at that last word. "But I... couldn't, and his voice cut off as its claws sickeningly tore into him. Then it turned on the other man who was blessedly still unaware."
The story finished, Ardbert finds the strength to pull back enough to check on Era, to make certain she's still with him. Worry shifts to relief then slowly transitions to teeth-gritting agony as his eyes glass over. She knows now, and she's still with him.
"Era!" Ardbert no longer has to keep his emotions in check, and they flood forth, his jaw unclenching to let a sob escape between his teeth. "Era... Era, I—"
He breaks eye contact, tilting his head closer to her again, shutting his eyes shut tightly against the emotions he can truly feel for the first time, and begins to openly weep, defenseless against the unfamiliar onslaught. The onslaught of emotions he tore out of himself before he was ready just to spare her. The only thing he could do....
"I couldn't save any of them...!" Ardbert chokes out between tears before he can no longer hold back the grief and despair flooding his very soul.
Then he is beyond words entirely, clutching to her desperately as he fails to hold back.
Ardbert combs through his mind for anything else that she might Echo that's exceptionally terrible. It's logical to tell her now. He doesn't want to, he's not ready, but the guilt would eat him alive if she was subjected to anything he could protect her from.
Then a memory becomes clear. A moment in which he was helpless to help those right in front of him. He stops hearing her words, squeezing his eyes tight. Gods.
"There's something else. I should tell you. I've had.. nightmares. It's only a matter of time until it catches you off guard."
"The second attack of Sin Eaters on Lakeland. I was there, useless." Gods, gods, he doesn't want to tell her, he doesn't want to tell anyone how it felt to be so useless. "There was a medic. His gentle voice cut through the horrors around me, and I turned towards it. A voice only a tender soul like he could have.
He was with someone gravely wounded he had laid up against a tree, telling him..." His voice cracks, wracked with pain. "... Telling him it would all be all right. The other man's head was lolling, fighting to listen to those words, trying desperately to stay awake and alive with what little strength he had left."
Ardbert wraps his arms around her tighter. "But there was a Sin Eater. He didn't hear it approaching, too focused on his friend, maybe even his partner&8212;" The word breaks in the same way as a soul shatters.
"I heard it, saw it." They both know how this story ends, but he continues. "But he couldn't hear me screaming for him to run. So I pulled out my axe, hoping, pleading, that for once, I could do something, that things were different now that someone could see me—"
The emotions in his voice flatline, the same as they did back then, everything draining out of him. "It wasn't. My axe and myself, we charged through it, unnoticed." Ardbert shakes his head slowly, then buries his face in her shoulder. "I couldn't look back."
Almost over; there's not much more left. "His voice was still so gentle as he pleaded for it to stay back. I could hear him shuffling in the grass, too scared to try to run. We both knew it was too late."
He can fell himself shaking. "The gentleness was broken by his screams of agony. For help. For help from someone, from anyone. From me—" His emotions come flooding back at that last word. "But I... couldn't, and his voice cut off as its claws sickeningly tore into him. Then it turned on the other man who was blessedly still unaware."
The story finished, Ardbert finds the strength to pull back enough to check on Era, to make certain she's still with him. Worry shifts to relief then slowly transitions to teeth-gritting agony as his eyes glass over. She knows now, and she's still with him.
"Era!" Ardbert no longer has to keep his emotions in check, and they flood forth, his jaw unclenching to let a sob escape between his teeth. "Era... Era, I—"
He breaks eye contact, tilting his head closer to her again, shutting his eyes shut tightly against the emotions he can truly feel for the first time, and begins to openly weep, defenseless against the unfamiliar onslaught. The onslaught of emotions he tore out of himself before he was ready just to spare her. The only thing he could do....
"I couldn't save any of them...!" Ardbert chokes out between tears before he can no longer hold back the grief and despair flooding his very soul.
Then he is beyond words entirely, clutching to her desperately as he fails to hold back.